Thursday, November 03, 2005
A Mile in a Monkey’s Shoes
On Halloween my boss let me take a long lunch so that I could see my kid go trick-or-treating. Just before I walked out the door I noticed that one of the supervisors had taken off his gorilla costume that he wore to work. He said that it was too hot to wear for an extended period of time – so I asked him if it was okay if I could borrow it for a couple of hours to show my kid. Two minutes later I was fully decked out from head to toe in a gorilla suit, cruising down the street in the Mini. While waiting at the light I heard someone say, “Look a Mini, cool…. holy s#%t that’s a monkey driving the mini.”
I was amazed to see how many people noticed.
I was really amazed to see how many people didn’t notice. Even when I waved people were still oblivious to the fact that there was a simian driving a Mini right next to them.
Prior to me coming home Jill asked me to get dinner. I went to Taco Bell. People freaked. People in the restaurant would look away and avoid eye contact, they were clearly uncomfortable, some were just plain fearful. “Ten tacos for 5.99 please…hang on I have to unzip my suit to get to my wallet.” Real monkeys do not have this problem; they merely pester you for food then crap in their hands and throw it at you if you don’t comply. I knew that paying via ATM would have a better result.
Then as I walked away with my bag of Tacos in hand the people in the restaurant stared and the entire kitchen staff stopped what they were doing and watched me walk away. A few followed me out to the parking lot.
I turned and looked at them as I walked away, much like that grainy 8mm film footage of Bigfoot that was taken in 1967 as he walked back into the forest.
The whole thing was a strange and surreal experience.
Thanks Larry for loaning me the costume. Next year I’ll try the Elvis during the “eating years” costume.
Posted by Elvis McFatPants at 12:05 AM